Growing up.

So I’m officially 15 and this month well how do I put it. It WILL be VERY VERY INTENSE. I have my upcoming biology and religious studies exam on the 15th of may, both on the same day! Woah.
My business, humanites and english poetry exam in this month alone and whats worse, next year when I am in year11 there will be around 11 or even more exams in may. Woweee.

Now my word to growing up is that its “Challenging”.
I was going to say scary but challenging sums it up for me. I was obviously going to grow up one day and I can’t stop myself from aging, no matter how hard I try! 🙂
But I can say I like that I’m growing up, my exams will determine the college I go to and then literally my whole life will be ahead of me I just need to make the most of the time I have with everyone and also enjoy my childhood and just to be strong.

I Honestly don’t know where I want to be in the future but I know what I want to Inshallah happen.

I want to get married ( not to early/young).

Have more then 2 kids for definite, I want a big family because when I see all my aunties and that, my mum has 2 brothers and 4 sisters. It’s really nice to see a big family which are very close with one another and Honestly seeing all that love is really nice.

I really want to have twins which I know sound crazy but there’s is a big chance I will. My mums a twin you see and it skipped a generation with my generation so fingers crossed.

I want my first children to be the twins, but I want a boy and girl twins not same sex and the boy to be the oldest.

I actually have two names I really want some of my kids to be named.
I love, love the name “Zayd” I don’t even know why I just love the name.
I also love the name “Raesah” and this is because it was my best friends name when I was just a mere child and even though we’re not In contact anymore, I want my child to be named that or something similar.
Zayd is for definate though 😀

I want a traditional paki wedding which is like four different days.the woman’s and guy’s mehndi, the wedding and walimah. I like the tradition even though it’s not really islamic I like it.

I will definately be wearing red for my wedding day. I think I will plan that out properly later 🙂 but I will make sure I have the best hair stylist and makeup artist! Because you know I want to look the best!

So this may sound very creepy but I don’t actually think its creepy more like a coincidence in a way. All Down to Allah (swt).

Well, before I actually wrote this whole post. Which was on the 7th, I went to sleep because i just didn’t have the energy to finish this post which is now going to be done on the 8th. Yesterday I was writing about marriage. Funny enough my dream was about an asian guy not much older then me and we were going out like a couple and surprisingly I actually remember This Dream very well and the actual guys face. Normally when I wake up I have no recollection of my dream not because of forgetfulness I just think I don’t dream but I do. So yeah in my dream, Our eyes where on each other on and I him met either In a shop or a big supermarket because I remember clearly he was with two other mates.
He wasn’t pushy but he was flirty which is why i liked him even more. He was quite cute actually. I don’t remember his name but it either started with A or R I think it was “Azad” but I’m not 100% sure. And I probably sound very weird or something but like woah, who was this guy supposed to be? My future husband? Well only Allah knows everything and why he put this guy in my dream but honestly it felt so real and I was actually quite happy because I can obviously tell 🙂

Well who knows what could happen ;D. My dream just made me think this whole day ? It’s like I was searching for the guy but I wasnt? Yeah quite confusing?

Now let me see what dream I dream today! Today was a good day but I don’t know what happened to me at the end of the day. I feel nothing, I Can’t stand anyone and I refused to even touch food and I got into trouble because of that? Seriously I’ve given up on finding councillats to concentrate on my studies but what I’ve realised is, is that I do need a councillor. I Honestly cannot tell one person exactly everything about me because I am not allowed. It’s actually surprising that I’m not an idiot of a girl coming from the “Oh so wonderful” family I have? I mean I could be in such a worse position but because me, myself and I independently is trying to make my life work I need help from someone, I don’t want music to be the thing there for me in my life that helps me all the time but honetsly it’s the only thing works. Well I don’t know, I’ll talk to some people.

Any tips on growing up?

LOVE.LIVE.LIFE.STAY STRONG. 20120508-231751.jpg



Posted on May 8, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Life is what happens to you while you’re making plans, so just keep praying for the best, and He will give it to you, even if it’s packaged differently from what you expected. 😀


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